Crap, a leopard!

At work we're having our annual charity art auction. It goes like this: everyone in the company, from the managing director all the way down to me, creates an 'art' piece. The stuff is then auctioned for a local charity and everyone's happy.
Problem is, we're not artists. We work in an office. With computers and Bluetooth devices. Anyway, mine's called Books I never wrote. This guy would really tear me to pieces, "Ding Ding! Here comes the shit-mobile".